Cucumber Salad

This is amazingly delicious. My mommy sent me the recipe and I though “cucumber salad? umm, I don’t know about that…” and it took me a while to decide to make it, but eventually I did. Now I have made it twice, it’s so good, and I love having it in my fridge for an afternoon snack. 

The original recipe looks like it comes from delish.com but This is my interpretation. 

2-3 whole cucumbers 
1/4 red onion sliced
1 can white beans  (I have used both chickpeas and great northern beans, I liked the northern better)
1 diced red bell pepper
1 small can of diced olives
1 small can of minced olives
1 to 1 1/2 cups of feta cheese 
2 tbsp EVOO
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp oregano (2 of you use fresh)
fresh ground pepper to taste

combine all ingredients in a bowl and stir eat immediately, or refrigerate for later. 

I think it’s pretty healthy too 🙂 

 

all ingredients in a bowl 

 

combined. looks amazing!

 

I used 1 whole thing of flavored and 1/2 a container of plain reduced fat feta.  

 

These olives are amazing, fucking amazing.  

 

served with a salad and a pork chop. yum!

Christmas Turkey

Last nights dinner was OMG amazing. 

 

 

Turkey:

one 11-lb turkey

1/2 onion

3/4 orange

1/2 bottle of beer (amber)

(all herbs are dried)

crushed rosemary

Thyme

Garlic Powder

Mortons Seasoning Salt

Black Pepper

Rubbed Sage

 

 

I started with a beautiful naked turkey. 

 

I combined some dry ingredients

 and rubbed them under the breast skin and all over the sexy body

Then I shoved half a chopped yellow onion and 3/4 a quartered orange up it’s ass. 

I dribbled about 1/8 bottle of beer into the ass cavity.

Sexy Beer Turkey

 I cooked the bird at 420 for 20 min then reduced to 350 for 3 hours. 

 Throughout cooking I added small amounts of beer  beer and enough water to keep the bottom of the roasting pan wet.

 

Also tent that bad bird in foil when it gets golden brown to prevent the skin from burning. I think this also helps keep it moist. 

 

She’s lovely

So Lovely

Tender and juicy. 

I made the Cranberry Sauce from scratch.  

Cranberry Sauce:

3/4 cup water

1/2 container frozen OJ

1 bag of cranberries

1/2 orange

1/4 bottle of beer (amber)

3 tbsp sugar

 

bring frozen OJ and water to a boil. Add cranberries and reduce heat to a simmer, cook about 20 min or until it’s almost the consistency you like it. it will thicken a bit upon cooling. Allow to cool at room temperature for about 20-30 more min then transfer to fridge. 

 

it needed more sugar but I am trying to not be fat. 

 

seasoned mashed potatoes 

(no picture) 

boiled 5 quartered potatoes

with 

1/2 head of garlic peeled, separated and cut into 1/2 inch cubes

1tbsp rosemary

1tbsp thyme

1/2 tbsp Morton’s seasoning salt

 

when you strain your potatoes much of the seasoning will drain out with the water but leaves a great flavor. Make sure you mash up the garlic with the potatoes

 

mash with some milk (and/or half and half) and butter 

 

oh and the potatoes tried to kill me. 

I burned myself on the boiling water. 

 

 I was boiling potatoes with herbs in the pot and all the herbs were stuck to the side of the pan, so i was using a turkey baster to rinse the herbs back into the boiling water. and I accidentally squirted the water out of the pot, onto myself. It was really stupid. And now I have this gross looking blistery burn on my stomach. 

 

So, don’t do that. 

Spicy Tzatziki

I may have shared this recipe already, But it’s dope.
Sorry I don’t measure anything.

Alana’s Amazing Spicy Tzatziki
1 large tub of greek yogurt
cheesecloth
about 1/2 tbsp cayenne
2 cucumbers (with seeds removed)
fresh dill
2 tbsp chopped garlic
salt and pepper to taste

I strained the yogurt by putting the cheese cloth in a strainer, dumping in the yogurt and wrapping it up.

After wrapping it tightly I placed a bowl on top to keep light pressure, too much pressure and the yogurt will ooze through the cheese cloth. Let it sit a good 2-3 hours.

While you are letting the liquid drain from your yogurt quarter and gut your cucumbers. Sprinkle with salt and let sit for about an hour to sweat out the liquid.

Unwrap your yogurt and you can return it back to the original container if you like.

I pureed my cucumbers, but I didn’t mean to, I wanted to just chop them up a bit.

(I need a manicure)

Chop up a few sprigs of dill, to about 2 tbsp. and combine all extra ingredients together. Salt and pepper to taste.

Refrigerate for a few hours at least, but best overnight.

You can eat this with anything, veggies, pita bread, tortilla chips, a spoon.

(sorry I am no food photographer, it may not be pretty but it’s still amazing.)

Originally posted on Fractured Fairy Tales

French Onion Soup

I love soup. I am a huge fan of soup in all shapes and sizes, creamy, brothey, thin, and thick. I have a special place in my heart for home made soup. I like to make soup, I think soup made from fresh ingredients tastes so much better.

French Onion Soup

4-5 med sweet or yellow onions
2 cartons of beef broth
2 cups of white wine
bay leaves
thyme
french bread
gruyere
olive oil
kosher salt
3 tbsp butter
dash of sugar

You need to start with a thick bottom pot, this will help distribute your heat better, especially if your stove is a piece of shit like mine.  Melt your butter on medium low heat.
Cut your onion in half then thinly slice it.
Add your onions to your pan and sprinkle with about 1 tbsp of salt. Drizzle with about 1tbsp of olive oil and stir up to coat well.

getting ready to hang out while you pour yourself some wine

Now you need to cover your pot and let all that stuff sit in the pot for 15 min. It needs to hang out and don’t worry about stirring it or burning it, just leave it alone (you should still be about med/low heat)

oh, now we’re all sweaty.

After 15 min your onions are ready for your constant attention. They should have produced some milky liquid. Now you need to sprinkle in about a tablespoon of sugar, stir it in well. Then crank the heat up.

it’s getting hot in here!

Now you need to keep it moving, you need to stir your onions every few minutes. Best bet is to not leave the kitchen. I am sure there is something you need to do in there. Like the dishes. Or clean out the fridge. Or organize your pantry.

10 min into cooking

 

After these guys started to get a little softer I added in a bay leaf and covered it in the onions so it could get soggy and pass on some flavors.

 

20 min 

 

at about 20 minutes I reduced the heat to just a hair below medium.

30 min

mmmm yummy brown

now you need to make sure that you are paying attention. This brown goodness that is accumulating on your pan? well you need to be stirring that up and getting it all over your onions. You may have to put some elbow into it but it’s what holds all your glorious flavor.

45 min

Optimum color has been achieved

Now pour two cups of wine and add it to your onions giving it a little stir to get all the brown goodness up from the bottom of the pan.

Add two more bay leaves and let go for about 10-15 more minutes, or until it’s reduced to a syrup consistency.

I could just eat it with my fingers.

Now we are ready for rest of the liquids. It’s about to get easier. And we are almost done.

Add your broth and let it all simmer for about 30 more minutes. Or in my case an hour, because the husband was very late home from work.

When you are ready to ingest set your oven to broil. move the oven rack to the top half of the oven. put a few slices of toast in to get a little toasty.

see how those onions, how convenient they show up there… 

someone may be trying to stage her food shots better. 

Ladle your soup into the bowls and shred a little cheese. Then put our toasty bread on top then top with more shredded cheese.

Broil until cheese has reached desired melty-ness. I like mine to be just bubbling.

Then eat it, and eat more of it, then a little more.

I used these links for inspiration:

Alton Brown

Smitten Kitchen

Mom’s super easy salsa

In honor of Mothers Day I’m going to share with you my Mom’s Super Easy Salsa Recipe, which I have adapted to my liking.

You need:
1 can of diced tomatos
1 can of rotel tomatoes
1 Jalapeño (remove seeds for less heat)
1 small Onion (about the size of a lemon)
1 hand full of Cilantro
2 cloves of garlic
1 dash of Cumin
1 big dash of salt
Juice from 1/2 lime

Put everything in your food processor (or blender),
turn it on,
turn it off,
enjoy.

The great thing about this recipe is if you don’t like Cilantro? add less. Love it spicy? add more Jalapeño. It’s highly versatile, and you can add or subtract ingredients to your liking. Yesterday I smashed up a few avocados and threw some salsa into them and it was amazing!
It will last in your fridge for about a week, if you don’t eat it all by then.

Sadly as great as this is, my onion was extremely bitter, and I don’t love it as much as I normally do. I think next time I’ll use a red onion instead of a yellow one.

Any ideas on how to get the bitter out?

up close and personal with all that goodness

Potato Wedgies

Oven Roasted Potato Wedgies

yes, I called them wedgies.

I think that sounds more fun.

preheat oven to 400
quarter a few red potatoes
drizzle with olive oil
sprinkle with desired toppings
-seasoning salt
-rosemary
-thyme
-garlic salt
stir
arrange on baking sheet
(it may not be necessary to place raised on a cooling sheet, but I feel it helps them cook evenly)
cook until desired tenderness is reached (mine are a tad overcooked)
(about 20-30 minutes)
enjoy with whatever dressing you like, I like plain yellow mustard.

Crock Pot Pork Roast

Below you will find my recipe for an almost all in one pot dinner.

Pork roast & potatoes with onions and garlic, all in one pot,

The only thing made separate was the gravy.

you’ll need:
a bone in piece of pork
a few red potatoes
an onion
some garlic
a few sprigs of rosemary
salt and pepper

for the gravy:
drippings from your pork roast
corn starch
milk
more salt and pepper

For the roast:
add all the ingredients into the crock, I put onions and garlic down first so they can cook fast and release their oniony goodness, with some rosemary for flavor.
Then add your meat and potatoes, more rosemary.
liberally add salt and pepper.
Put that crock on low for 6-8 hours or high for 4-6 hours.
Pork is done when it’s approx 160 degrees.

When all is done with your roast, take it all out and pour your drippings into a small pan, in a little cup mix cold water with about 1/2 tbsp of corn starch, once it’s mixed add it to your drippings. Turn the heat up to about med high and stir. when it starts to thicken add about 1/4 cup of milk and continue to stir until desired consistency is reached. If your gravy doesn’t thicken up add more cornstarch, mixing it with water first. But depending on how much drippings you have (I only had about 2 cups) you don’t want to add too much cornstarch or your gravy will be weird and gel like.
Add salt and pepper to taste.

Perfect Potato Salad

before instagram

Potato Salad

1. The first rule of Potato Salad is you use the same amount of all the big stuff (except onion) since I only needed a small batch I did 4s
4 potato
4 egg
4 dill pickles (should have been, I’ll explain)
1/2 small vidalia (sweet) onion

2. My favorite rule about Potato Salad is you can have fun with it and add or subtract things that suit your taste. Although my dad would never agree to this rule.
1/2 a can of olives
2 stalks of celery

3. Mayo is a must, regular mayo, no miracle shit, Mayo! and a sprinkle of powdered mustard, about 1tsp or more if you’d like.

4. Never forget your salt and pepper.

So I cut up my potato into bite sized pieces and boiled it on a low boil about half an hour (or until soft)

I tried a new method for hard boiling eggs, I baked them, Yep you read that right, Baked.
The pin I found the idea from gave great directions, although it’s pretty idiot proof. First I did a test egg and it was perfect, so 330 was my temp, 30 min was my time, and my eggs were perfect, and peeled super dooper easily. You can jump straight to the directions here: Hard Boiled Eggs In the Oven
Once my eggs were done and peeled I used my Vidalia  Chopper to chop the eggs smaller, and I’m too lazy to use a knife.

4 dill* pickles . I didn’t have regular dill pickles. and the corner market didn’t have whole dill, or even dill spears. So I bought hamburger dill chips. And they worked perfect.  I also put them in my Vidalia Chopper and chopped them into small pieces.  I used about 1 cup once it was all chopped up.
Onion was the same, cut in half then into the chopper.

I added these three things to a big bowl and poured pickle juice over them, about a 1/8 to 1/4 cup, it’s gotta soak into the eggs and potatoes before you add the mayo.

Now the ingredients my dad would never allow in his potato salad:
I opened a can of olives, and took about half of it and put it through the chopper and added it to the bowl of goodness.
2 stalk of celery into the chopper, and into the bowl.

Here is where I should have thought things through, It may have been easier to mix the mayo and the dry mustard before I put it on the salad, it also may have been easier to mix the mayo, mustard, olives and celery first. But it’s too late I already sprinkled the mustard in the bowl of goodness.

About 1 1/4 cups of mayo later sprinkled on 1 tsp kosher salt and copious amounts of fresh ground pepper and I had Potato Salad!

Remember, it’s your salad, you want super mayo, add more mayo, don’t like dill pickles, well tough shit, you can’t change that, well you can but the Potato Salad Police may arrest you. Have fun with it, add green or red peppers, or maybe jalapeños.

after instagram

* A word about Pickles.
I have spent the better part of the last three years searching for the perfect pickle. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. I have bought nearly every kind of pickle in the store and could never find the ones that I ate as a kid, the really yummy ones my mom bought. At any given time I have 2-3 open jars of pickles in my fridge, that were failures, I still eat them, but I don’t enjoy them. Just assuming my parents bought magic pickles at their grocery I just kept trying and never asked.
Well yesterday I asked, for the sake of potato salad I had to know what I was doing wrong.
Kosher dill. Not the same as Dill.
Did you know Kosher Dill, not only is made to Kosher standards but also uses garlic?
I didn’t.
Dill is the secret, no garlic, not as sharp a flavor. I will never again buy Kosher Dill.

Shrimpy Salad

1lb of medium cooked, peeled, de-tailed shrimp
1-2 avocado cubed
2 tomato cubed
2 limes, juiced
1-2 jalapeno, seeded and diced
1 handful of cilantro coarsely chopped
1/4 red onion diced
2+ tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

combine all ingredients in a bowl, stir, season to taste. eat with spoon straight from bowl you made it in because it’s that good.
I also like to use an avacado that is really soft, because it seems to blend into the lime juice and make a sauce that is just wonderful.

As with most of my recipes, if you don’t like something, leave it out, if you want more (like I think I’ll use more avocado next time) then put it in.

You could also cut the shrimp into smaller pieces and eat this with chips.
Would be good on top of shrimp enchiladas, or inside tortillas as cold tacos.

The entire recipe is 22 weight watchers points! But that’s a lot to eat in one sitting…

Adapted From –
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/05/zesty-lime-shrimp-and-avocado-salad.html

Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

I love banana bread. I can easily eat the whole loaf in one day. Just banana bread, no butter, no anything else, just the bread. Yummm.

Just a side note:

You know what’s sad, those bananas, in the photo above, aren’t the ones I used, they aren’t over ripe. I collect mine in the freezer and I didn’t have any “fresh-over-ripe” bananas when I made this, so my bananas are really ugly. Not photogenic at all. I used yellow ones in the picture because I was embarrassed at how ugly my bananas are.

seriously over ripe-previously frozen bananas

3 or 4 over ripe bananas

1 stick (1/2 cup) of room temp butter

2 room temp eggs

2 cups of flour

3/4 cup of brown sugar

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp vanilla

1/4 tsp cinnamon

As many chocolate chips as you desire, I used about half a bag.

(optional: a handful of white sugar for topping)

Preheat oven to 350*

Mix/mash your bananas and eggs together, add the butter and mix well. Next add brown sugar and vanilla.

In a separate bowl combine  your dry ingredients, flour baking soda, salt and cinnamon.

Slowly add your dry ingredients to your wet, like a 1/2 cup at a time. You can just add all the dry but you risk getting flour all over your kitchen.

Finally add your chocolate chips and put in a greased loaf pan.

Optional: sprinkle the top with white sugar to get a nice sugary crispy top.

Bake for about an hour (I am at high elevation so my cooking time is more than an hour, close to an hour and a half)

It’s done once a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

sprinkled with sugar, see the bananas I didn’t really use

delicious yummyness

and done! on my cute little Japanese animal plate.